The things we do to ourselves because of our past hurts.
She grew up watching her parents fight, just about every weekend. A phone call with him asking her mom where she'd been? Which is how it usually started. She didn't have to hear the questions asked, because of her mothers response.
She'd say something like "Huh what are you talking about?" '' I've been here! "Where are you?'' At that moment She would get dress and get back in bed and wait. The phone calls would continue until he got there. It was on, when she heard the key in the door. Her heart would literally jump out her throat when she heard door open. She would lay there in bed and wait until she heard her mother screaming. At times she would try and break it up and other times she would leave. Imagine running out of the house just to get away from what was about to take place.
photo credit: Lil Wayne How to Love video
She may as well have been invisible. No one came to look for her nor did she get in trouble when she finally came back. They were so engrossed in their twisted love it sickened the hell out of her. The same man that stood up to take the position of her missing father, abused she and her mom with out a soul knowing.
photo credit: Lil Wayne How to Love video
She always wore a big bright smile regardless of the challenges and pain she endured behind those closed doors.
http://youtu.be/y8Gf4-eT3w0
photo credit: youtube.com
When you're hurt in every way possible by the people you trust, your heart becomes hardened and your ability to love and trust becomes a lifelong battle. You know the saying, " you don't know what you have until its gone ? " She was gradually losing a battle with love and trust and herself. She fought love all the the way around. This girl couldn't take constructive criticism. If she thought she was being disrespected she would go on defense mode. She couldn't hear, see or feel the love that was coming her way . She didn't want to trust it let alone accept it. Instead she challenged it. It got to a point where she was going to find herself, by herself. She prayed for a softened heart for years. At times she felt as if God didn't hear her cries.
photo credit: Lil Wayne How to Love video
She questioned why would she be put in situations she couldn't and didn't know how to get herself out of. She was mad at the world because of her past hurts and could care less about the one who was trying to show her otherwise.
photo credit: Lil Wayne How to Love video
Fortunately for her God opened her eyes and her heart and she began to learn how to love..........
photo credit: Lil Wayne How to Love video
We may not get there today, tomorrow or the next day. As long as you fight for what you want an allow yourself to be loved. It won't be so hard to learn that all things is possible. Let go before its too late !
No comments:
Post a Comment