Photo credit : 4umf.com
Being in relationships is hard work; I'm sure we can all agree to that. I'm
not an expert but I've heard, seen and experienced a lot. In some cases I wanted to smack some sense into people for what they put up with. As a little girl I figured out what I wanted and wasn't going to tolerate when I was old enough to date.
I've seen men treat woman like they were a pair of sneakers; one for
every outfit. When a pair got old, they tossed them in the back of the closet. Better yet they used them to play in. We females aren't any better. Some of us are stuck on how cute the guy is. Or on how much money he makes.
I understand the need of being attracted to someone. I will admit that
I am one to say, “Dang he's cute ". Growing up my mother would say, "get
over it. Cuteness will get you caught up, looks aren't everything". Don't get me wrong I agree.
But can we have some form of attraction? Now that I'm older I understand her
more. Females can be blind and naive.
http://youtu.be/hxQF3ELz6Ss
Here's a scenario: you meet a guy and not even 6 months later you guys
move in together. And you wonder why y'all are having issues x amount of years later. I always tell people younger than me. Male or female don't rush love. In most cases it not even love it's lust, obsession and just plan stupid. Become friends, date, know this person in and out before you commit. Ask questions like," how many people have you been with? “How is your relationship with your parents? Its true when people say, “if he doesn't respect his mother, he won't respect you".
Make sure he or she understands that you have friends, things shouldn't change because your with him. Its all about respect. You both should know and and understand boundaries.
You may have a past that he or she may or may not know about. If you choose to share it, be prepared. Most may not know how to deal with it. What you've shared with them should never be used to insult or disrespect you later on.
photo credit: olivecocomag.com
Don't get into a relationship where he/she is busy trying to dictate
or change you. If you like to hang out with your girls/guys don't
stop. But make sure you give him/her time as well. It's always give
and take in a relationship.Shoot for a 50/50 kind of relationship. If you guys like to go out, take turns paying. The guy should not have to pay for everything. Show him you want to and will maintain your independence. You don't ever want to lose who you are just to please anyone. There's always room for compromise. Have fun, learn and love.
It'll make things easier. Believe, things would run a lot smoother. But love is love, if we want it we have to work through it.
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